Chances & Choices

I've been thinking a lot lately. It's hard to wrap my head around the idea of whether we have multiple chances at something that is best for us, or whether there are instances of which if we let slip through our fingers, we would never find again? Could some of the most precious things boil down to just one, single, precious chance?

Yes, I am aware that many people believe that there is always a second chance; that it is never too late to start working towards your dreams. But if you really think about it, does that notion truly resonate within you? Do we come up with such preconceptions as a way to console ourselves? Is all of this "meant to be" idea but a hoax? Are we just lying to ourselves?

I have to admit, that I used to be really sure that what's meant to be, will be. And I'm not saying that I no longer hold this belief. However, I do know that a belief has no meaning, no substance, if we never question it. That is merely blind belief. I want to be able to stand up and defend my beliefs, should such situations occur, or they are nothing but words in my head. Thus, here I am, musing over this complicated and convoluted topic.

Surely if something is "meant to be", it will be, for "being" would be the only thing that we see or
experience. But every choice we make, we are choosing to embark on a different path, however insignificant it may seem at first, I think that every decision contributes to who we will become; who we are. When you choose to procrastinate, you are choosing the path that will cause you more trouble and effort to achieve the same outcome as if you had be diligent from the start. When you decide to go for the heels instead of flats, you may have caused yourself unnecessary pain. But these situations can still be salvaged, just probably with a bit more of commitment and effort.

This then brings to mind of choices that might never be able to be altered; choices whose paths we undertake will never quite lead us back to where we began, however close we may strive to be. Just like an asymptote, really. Forever coming close, little by little, but never, ever, reaching the point they we desire to be in, or return to.

How many opportunities have I missed, for good, because I was too scared to take the leap out of my comfort zone? How much hurt have I caused with the words from my mouth? How many people have I unintentionally pushed aside? How many hearts I could have reached and touched, had I not been self-conscious or conceited? How many tears could I have saved, if I had been more sensitive, proactive, diligent, or self-less?

No, of course it's not too late to start now, but can we ever really be able to shed off our insecurities and the self-glorifying nature of mankind, and pursue what is best for us, or those we love, and those who love us? Will we ever be brave enough to step up and step out in faith alone?


These thoughts plague me incessantly, but in a good way. They keep me sane, even if they sound like the ramblings of an over-thinker, living in her own world of musings and hypothetical questions. But I love this, it helps me to think about what is truly important, and helps me to grow. One of the saddest things about "growing up" is losing our sense of childlike curiosity, with which we question everything and anything. So I guess I'll never stop wondering and questioning. Life is complicated, yes, but that's what make it all the more beautiful, isn't it? Not knowing everything, of what's ahead, is part of the fun.



p.s. what comes easy won't be as precious as what comes through storm and fire.

Love,           

          

eunice.