Popcorn Society

Have you ever felt as if everyone's eyes are on you, like they are watching your every move, waiting to see you trip, slip up, and fail? Have you ever had the strangest feeling that who you are today isn't who you are inside, that you are living by the rules set by other people, and you are who they think you are?

Humans, we crave acceptance. We desire to fit in. No, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to belong. But when it starts consuming you, at the end of it all, are you still yourself? Or are you defined by the people around you? 

There is a very fine line between doing something because you love it, or doing something because you love you doing it. Or worse, because other love you for doing it. Very often, we get caught up by the approval of others. We mistake the temporal rush of exhilaration we get from compliments and achievement, for joy of doing something. Maybe you sing very well, and everyone says so. You feel proud of yourself for that. You love blushing when people compliment your voice, your passion. But underneath it all, there may lie a subdued voice inside you, like that annoying itch at the back of your throat that you can't seem to ever soothe, whispering softly that you would be happier painting the backdrops instead of hogging center-stage.

Expectations of society weigh us down sometimes. The constant needing to appear flawless and impeccable on all occasions. Putting on a front, donning deceptive masks in hopes of convincing everyone else of your otherwise lackluster life. Most of us go through that phase, of wanting to appear cool, consumed by the desire to stand out from everyone else around you, so you're not just another face in the crowd, but the embodiment of perfection, of someone everyone looks up to and wishes to be a friend of, if not to be you. Again, that, in its very essence, is nothing wrong. In fact, it is amazing for one to be ambitious and improve oneself. But do we really strive stand out because of ourselves?

Dress for yourself, not because it is 'in' right now. Not because you want to turn heads, to make people envious and wish that they were you. There is no need to impress anyone if it comes at the cost of yourself. We are individuals, not a flock of uniform sheep. Society has conditioned so many of us into robots, machines without unique identity, drones without personality, androids without feelings. Almost everything in this life can be found in the virtual world of bright screens and clicking sounds. Yes, technology is a beautiful thing, and I do agree that I wouldn't be able to function normally if it were to be taken away from us. But how often do we take a break from the flashing lights and beeping tones to focus on what is in right in front of us and who we really are? And this does not just apply to taking a break from media, but also taking a step back from the expectations that we try so hard to live up to? Who are we, when everything is stripped off? What is left of us, without the perception of others?

Remember, don't do something because that's what everyone tells you you're good at it, that it's so 'you'. Do it because you want to, because you love it.

Most of us can't force ourselves to do something we don't want to, and still find joy in it. We were made by our Creator to be different. We were given different gifts. We are individuals for a reason: to make a mark on this world that no one else can make in our places, because there is no one like any of us. No one.

But yes, it's hard. It's scary to step out, to stand up for who you are when society's scrutiny seems to be burning holes into the back of your neck. But, who cares? Let them judge. It just proves how shallow they are.

Societal norms are often in the form of: "Put on these chains, and you can live freely." And in the process of chasing our desires, we more often than not fall into the clutches of society's expectations of us. I believe that it is time for us to take a look at ourselves, our lives, and ask: "Who am I, really?" and "What makes up my identity?". Then, take courage, and break out of the mold that others (and society) has set for you. 

But of course, an all-important disclaimer: break the mold in right way. Please don't twist these words to suit your own motives. Yes, you have the right to choose the course of your life, but ethics and virtues are not to be compromised in the search for identity. Some of you may question: what if those ethics and virtues are just alternate figments of societal norms? But I believe that we can all know, at the least, deep inside, where that line has to be drawn. For your identity should be the brightest light of all, and you won't go wrong.

With that said, listen to yourself. Be yourself. 

Live your life. 

And life, will be very beautiful indeed.

What you can or cannot do isn't determined by someone else.

You are beautiful, as who you are, as who our Creator has made you to be. So, heads up, my friends. 

Stand tall, stand strong.

Love,

eunice.

Out Of Phase

"People fall out of phase / We were a crash course / We will just be a place stuck on your passport." 

- Kelly Clarkson, Someone.

On an occasional evening, I would sit myself down on my bed, lights off, whispering music playing, and I would find myself thinking about how much has changed, be it the past decade, year, month or even week. Life is a never-ending vicious cycle of moments, one after another, each trying to catch up the the other, but never quite getting there. 

Until it does.

Moments pass so fleetingly, sometimes subtly, others with a bang, but the one thing that remains constant is how they pass all too fast, sometimes faster than our hearts are able to catch up. But that's the beauty in it, isn't it? That each moment that passes will never return again, that each second is unique, irreplaceable, but most importantly, it is completely and entirely yours.

I believe that with passing moments, we not only lose time. To be honest, I think that we lose little parts of ourselves behind too. Every step I took forward, I left warm footprints behind. I leave behind a part of my heart with every beautiful sunset, a piece of my childhood with each precious tear. Each bout of laughter charted off with a dab of youthfulness, like how my presence still lingers behind in the places I've once visited, though I no longer do. With each moment, I believe that we are continually growing, maturing, learning and changing. Growth does not usually occur over one single night, but through little sections of your life, regardless of whether they are of significant importance to you, or if you take them for granted. 

But, on some rare occasions, you can grow overnight, take it from someone who's done it before. A significant moment or event, that the impact it leaves in its wake brings sudden revelations, cement your resolves, and make a growth spurt possible. Many a times, these occur in heartbreak, tough times, for I think that we learn the most in tough times, when everything seems to be crashing down. Happiness is, of course, dazzling. Brilliant. But how can we grow without knowing what's left when the sparkle wears off? In tough times, that's when we realize how strong we can be, and how, though you may think otherwise, we are only as strong as our own will. It's when you realize that you can do it, in spite of all the hurt and all the heartbreak and all the doubts, that you learn to truly trust yourself. 

Yes. You can.

One of the things that I am most reluctant to talk about is that time also removes some people from your life. You will find that you were only close to some people because you saw them five days a week. The childhood friend who used to always have your back might not have talked to you in months. Not out of spite, or fall outs, but simply because that's how life is. Some people move on, even when you're not ready to. But that's okay. You have to remember that it's okay. 

Yes, it's sad, but instead of dwelling on the negatives, why not take a step back and smile over the moments when you had laughed together, the times that you've gotten each other into trouble? Memories are beautiful things. The past doesn't change. It's both a blessing and a curse. But memories, they are snapshots of your happiest moments, your saddest moments, the moments that have helped you grow, built you up, and they are what defines you today.

Ultimately, beauty in life is not found in moments, but in us. We are the ones who dictate who we want to be in our most defining moments. We have the choice to either take our lives to the next station, or to wallow in the past. The past may contain your most beautiful moments, your happiest moments, but the future is what determines what your future's past would be. 

Savour the past. Live in the moment. But anticipate the future. And your life will not be a collection of wistful scenes and regret, but a series of beautiful snapshots, even if they were heartbreaking-ly beautiful.

應為他，我才是現在的我。

- 《我的少女時代》

Love，

eunice.

"  謝謝你出現在我的青春裡。"